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As personal as it gets {my battle with dieting & how it finally ended}

As personal as it gets {my battle with dieting & how it finally ended}

If you're a girl in your 20s or 30s, then you've been on approximately a million diets in your lifetime. No matter your body shape, your bone structure, we all struggle with our body image. The result? A ridiculously crappy relationship with food. Here's me getting really honest for you all... because I've finally learned {like really, really learned} what I was doing wrong all these years.
Hi my name is Agnes and I'm an image-holic.
{Hi, Agnes!}
Phew! That felt good. So let's start at the beginning: I'm 28 years old, and I was born in the generation of "super model skinny is the only sexy". We all drooled over Kate Moss and were trying to figure out why we didn't all look like her.
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I went on my first diet when I was 11 years old. That was the "don't eat after 6" diet. Then came the "low fat" diet, followed by "Atkins", followed by "South Beach", followed by dozens others. In the past few years, it was Paleo, Ketosis/carb cycling {WORST DIET EVER}, Pescatarian... So yeah, I've been on a few diets;)
It would work for a few days, and then I would be back to my start weight- hating the diet that failed me. That's when the pills came a-knocking. At first, it started with ADD meds. Nope, I never had ADD, but I finally found a pill that was easy, the doctors told me it was safe, and I convinced myself that I needed it. Too bad the doctors never told me that it was the most addicting drug in a different form (methamphetamine- yup, fancy METH).
From the ages of 23-27, I was desperately finding different forms of this "magic pill". My skin suffered, my relationships suffered, I couldn't function without it, I had cold, sweaty hands... but hey, I was finally skinny and I barely ate anything at all!
It wasn't until almost a year ago that I opened up about my addiction {yes, ADDICTION} to my boyfriend. He knew I was taking these "health pills"-that's what I called them. When we moved to a Caribbean island that considered them an illegal drug, I had to fess up. We went on the hunt to find me these pills, and NOBODY on the island had them. In 5 years, I hadn't gone more than a few days without some form of upper-slash-appetite suppressant. I couldn't do it on my own- enter: my hero & the guy who finally helped me see the truth.
When you're finally honest with yourself, ask yourself: "am i willing to live in a constant roller coaster of mood swings, aging skin, dishonesty and lies, all to be a little bit skinnier?"
Because here's the catch: you have to keep taking more and more and more. So you become a slave to those things- whether it's pills, chemically-filled "pre-workouts", or whatever else you're putting in your mouth that is made in a lab somewhere.
Ok back to my story! After about 5 months of practically binge eating and crazy mood swings, I felt my brain and my body feel normal again. I was able to control my appetite without a pill. I was able to wake up, energetic & happy, without a pill. I am now able to see those pills for what they were: a scam to get my money in exchange for my self-control.
THERE'S NO PILL. THERE'S NO FORMULA. THERE'S NO SECRET... when you find your perfect balance, and when you find the best combination of foods for you- that's when you've arrived. And it won't be the same for me as it is for you!
I eat gluten free 100% of the time. Low carbs 50% of the time. Vegetarian 50% of the time. Vegan 25% of the time. Are you confused yet? Don't copy what others do. Learn all about your body- if you feel sick the morning after you've eaten a steak, maybe your body doesn't run well on red meats? Maybe you would FEEL better on a gluten (basically wheat) free lifestyle?
Whatever it is- you have the answer. Doctors (stick to holistic ones in this case) can direct you, they can give you pamphlets, but they can't keep the fork from your mouth when you're on your second bowl of pasta 💆🏼
Okay, well here's the really exciting news:) You know how I said I've tried every diet EVER since Ronald Reagan was prez? Well, I am now the LOWEST WEIGHT I've ever been since I last crash dieted {so since I turned 23!}. I have high energy levels (coffee can't go tho...❤), food is no longer my enemy, and my skin is G.L.O.W.I.N.G. It's not a formula- it's a female decision. Give your body time, teach it, and it WILL reward you.
Much love, chia seeds, and coffee mornings-
xoxo
Agnes

4 comments

Apr 04, 2017 • Posted by Nelly

So proud of you! And love the chia seeds touch ❤ much love

Apr 04, 2017 • Posted by Nadia

Agnes, this is powerful. So proud of you! Since i know of your transformation I think you should post a before and after.

Apr 04, 2017 • Posted by Nadia

Agnes, this is powerful. So proud of you! Since i know of your transformation I think you should post a before and after.

Apr 04, 2017 • Posted by Lea

Love you my baby?

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